And The Point of It All...
Well here it is, you’re almost to the finish line. Your wedding is around the corner and before you know it you’ll be someone’s spouse. If you think about it, it’s all really crazy. How in a world full of people could you have found the one person who’d make you go through all this crazy wedding planning for? Just to be with him or her forever. Had you ever thought about that?
Well, take the second and give it some thought. Because it’s deep. One of the deepest and most intimate wedding songs out is Anthony Hamilton’s “The Point of it All.” Anthony sings “and the point of it all . . . Is I love you. . . .” Whew! Heart instantly melted.
If you haven’t heard the song, listen to it here - https://youtu.be/8O0VCUFCDBM. Make sure you remember the words and melody of this song as you read along.
You know how they say “live in the moment. . . .” Well some of us are taking that a little too far. And wedding planning is that moment. You’re so pressed to impress that you’ve forgotten what this whole thing is all about - marriage. You’ve been ready to elope, pull your hair out, poke your fiancé’s eyes out, and disown your family and friends because . . . It just has to be perfect!
But what is perfection? Perfection is an ideal that we create in our heads based off of what someone told us or what we’ve pieced together throughout this journey called life.
But no matter how we try to swing it, there is no perfect wedding. Let me say that again, THERE IS NO PERFECT WEDDING!
Just like life, things happen and you won’t really have any control. You can be the master wedding planner and things you didn’t expect may just pop up. Whoops! Because you are loved and we don’t want any wedding meltdowns that have no point at all, we’ve compiled a few scenarios based off of real experiences of brides and grooms from all walks of life and give some real perspective to remind you of the point of it all.
Ready?! Here goes . . . .
Mother Nature Happens
You plan on an outdoor wedding with the sun adorning you as you walk down the aisle. Or you have this outdoor reception planned so you all can dance under the moonlight. Welp, Mother Nature had other plans and it rains. Dang! It really sucks, yup. But there’s no point of crying over spilled milk. Rain, sleet, hail, or snow cannot or should not stop your love. It never has. It never will. People get it all wrong, Wedding planning is not about obtaining pure perfection. It’s an unobtainable goal. Wedding Planning is about having a plan and a plan B to make things run smoothly. The real lesson is that marriage is about weathering the storm. So you might as well dance in the rain because the sun will shine again.
Members of Your Wedding Party May Go Rogue
All of these years you’ve know them and here comes your wedding. . . Boy, have things changed. Your Groomsman is suffering from a broken heart and has dropped out of the wedding. Your Bridesmaid is having a
breakdown because she wants to be the bride and thinks it’s her time to be one. Your Best Man doesn’t know what’s going on. Your Maid of Honor has threatened to drop out of the wedding and you had to talk her off the ledge. Your in-laws haven’t done anything for the wedding and your parents are driving you crazy throughout most of the wedding planning process. So much going on?!
While we’d like to think that everyone will make your wedding a priority and focus on it, they’re human. Other things are happening in their lives. Are you happy with their actions? Nope. Does it matter on your wedding date? Not at all. The show will go on. Make a note of it and handle that drama another day. It can all be crazy before the big day but as long as they snap into focus when it’s time to walk down that aisle that’s all that matters.
Remember, the person you’ve chosen to be your teammate, your first pick, your ride-or-die is standing at or walking towards you from the other end of that aisle. When you see him/er there, who wasn’t there or didn’t do won’t matter. Your Bride or Groom was there. “And the point of it all . . . .”
Some Guests will Complain
You’ve worked so hard to keep your guests in mind when planning your wedding. But no matter how you plan and how thoughtful you try to be. . . guests will complain.
Case in point - selecting your menu. You later find out that there were a lot of scrunched up faces when tasting the gazpacho soup you and your spouse selected. Listen, everyone’s not going to get it. Taste buds are different and experiences are different. You can’t expect people who’ve never traveled to understand that gazpacho soup is supposed to cold and is quite a lovely choice for a summer wedding. And the seating chart. You and your spouse-to-be worked on it tirelessly and some guests will complain they were seated too far in the back or they preferred to sit elsewhere with other people. Everyone thinks they’re the most important person in your life and that’s, simply, not true. Everyone cannot get VIP seating and the guests who opened their mouths to complain about it probably were put in the perfect seat. You did the right thing!
Oh and those two friends you thought would squash their beef by time they got to your wedding. . . never did. Instead of redoing the entire seating chart, you figured that maturity and love for you would shine through. Wrong! You learn at the reception that they sat at the table the whole dinner and made everyone around them uncomfortable. Ugh! But you can’t control the actions and choices of adults. As long as they didn’t start arguing or fighting in the middle or your reception, it’s all good. What can you say?! You can’t please all the people all the time. But you can please some of the people some of the time. Did you have a good time? Did your hard work pay off? If yes, I’d count that as a win. But, more importantly, did you end up marrying the love of your life? “And the point of it all . . . .”
The Weirdest Things Will Happen
That DJ that professed that he’s the best in town has a few malfunctions with his equipment right when you and your friends hit the dance floor. Your coworker gets super drunk at the reception and everyone knows it. Guests start packing food to go and this is not a backyard BBQ. Your cousin, who you’ve never had a problem with, has been causing drama all wedding weekend. Two random people walk into your reception like they belong there. Ummmm, no wedding crashers up in here.
It’s crazy! Guests came, saw, ate, and celebrated (just look at them in the pictures and video having the time of their lives) and didn’t even bother bringing a gift.
We can’t lie and say you won’t remember any of these things. Truth is you’ll probably remember them all and either laugh or roll your eyes. Despite it all can you hear the words of the song, “and the point of it all . . . .” None of it will compare to . . .
- Seeing your Bride walk down / Groom standing at the end of the aisle.
- Kissing your Bride or Groom
- Being officially married
- The smiles and applause as your family and friends celebrate your union
- Your first dance
- The special dances with your parents
- The speeches in honor of the two of you
- Celebrating all night on the dance floor with your closest family and friends and . . .
- The future that the two of you have together and the love that will get you to all of the beautiful moments and through every difficult one.
“The point of it all . . . is I love you.” Ahhhh, yes! It’s all worth it!