Do Wedding Guests Not Show Up?
The Ghosted Wedding Guest
Being the husband of a planner has ruined my life. The information I have learned from being married to a wedding planner has forced me to reflect back on some of my past wedding experiences in a not so favorable manner. One piece of knowledge that has recently come to my attention is the topic of a Ghost Guest.
Like my wife advises her clients, “Only invite guests who are meaningful in your everyday life!”
What is Ghost Guest, glad you asked? A ghost guest is a person who commits to attending your wedding (and more importantly your reception) but has no attentions of showing up. Now full disclosure, I have been a Ghost Guest on more than a few occasions. Some of you, like my wife, are likely appalled by my past behavior and so am I. When a person would ask me to be a guest for their special day, I would genuinely feel bad telling them no. So instead of being upfront and honest I did what most of a 20-29 year old would do, I lied.
Now my reasoning was not malicious in intent, but ignorance is not an excuse. Sometimes, I honestly did not have the money to buy something to wear. Other times it would be that I didn’t really know the party that well and didn’t feel comfortable being around people I didn’t know half of my Saturday. Of course there were some not so valid reasons such as I would rather watch a sporting event or just sit at home and relax.
No matter the excuse the one thing I never took into consideration was that I actually stealing from these fine people who only wanted me to attend their special day. STEALING you say??!!! Yes I was actually stealing from them. My wife advises me that on average a couple spends anywhere from $125 to $300 dollars per guest; depending on the venue. Average wedding guest lists are about 150 people with many venues stipulating a minimum amount to book. If you take an average of 10 guests being no shows (ghost guest) you are talking about a couple losing $1250 to $3000 dollars on day one of marriage. Like I said stealing from my friends and/or family because I couldn’t just say no thanks.
Now I understand emergencies come up and that is OK but if you know you can’t make it just say no. I have friends who have gotten married and mysteriously stop talking to me as much after the wedding and I had no idea why. Well maybe being part of the select few who stuck them with a $1250-$3000 loss could be the reason. So in closing don’t be like me if you can’t make it just say no, they will appreciate you MORE for it.
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