New Year, Same Me, But Better
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! If 2018 is your wedding season, we are sending a very special CONGRATULATIONS to you! It’s you and your spouse-to-be’s time and all your hard work shall come to fruition in due time. While we are toasting the New Year and basking in all of newness of the New Year, I can hear that old faithful chant now “New Year, New Me!”
WAIT A MINUTE.
How often do we hear that phrase and know that we know that we know that we know (that’s really knowing) that the person saying it ain’t gonna change one bit. That’s right! That goes for you too. There’s nothing wrong with change but let’s be real with ourselves and confess there is nothing new about you just because it’s a new year! It’s the same ole’ you but let’s try to be better this year.
How does that relate to your wedding planning process?
Well, if you’ve been that bridezilla/ groomzilla personality or the opposing crybaby, ball of stress bride/ lazy groom. BE BETTER! Yes, your wedding is supposed to be and is going to be (fingers crossed) one of the best days of your lives, but it’s one day and there are greater things going on in the world. Life doesn’t start or stop with your wedding day. It’s a day that is a continuation of the legacy of love that you and your spouse-to-be have created and will continue to create over the years.
How can you be better? Let’s break it down . . . .
THE BRIDEZILLA / GROOMZILLA
No one likes you or wants to be around you. The only reason they’ve put up with you thus far is because of the person that you use to be. You’re driving everyone bananas and your desire to control everyone and everything is making them nauseous.
Don’t get me wrong, you’re likely on top of it and an organized wedding beats an unorganized one any day of the week. But this personality also means that you have some unrealistic expectations that are likely to have you overreacting about things that will or won’t happen at your wedding. Riddle me this? You still want to have friends after your wedding, don’t you?Thought so.
How can you be better?
First, calm down. If you feel your blood pressure rising, take a breath and just breathe. There has to be a better way to handling any problem other than screaming, hollering, and throwing a temper tantrum. Really? If you’re always snapping on someone, no one will ever hear you and you’ll end up not getting what you want done. Wooooooo-saaaaaah.
Secondly, think before you speak. While you’re trying to get zen, think. Think of what to say. Think of a solution. Think of an alternative. Think of being better. That way, you won’t be throwing one of your infamous bridezilla/ groomzilla tantrums.
Third, start and end with the words “please” and “thank you.” You’ve been demanding things while snipping and snapping and really it’s old. You get more bees with honey than vinegar. It’s a simple solution to an ungrateful bridezilla/ groomzilla problem. Try it. It’s easier than you think.
THE BALL OF STRESS BRIDE / LAZY GROOM
Quite the opposite of the bridezilla/ groomzilla personality is the ball of stress bride/ lazy groom. Instead of micromanaging every aspect of their wedding, demanding the world of their bridal party, and expecting the world from all their vendors, these personalities are just . . . lackluster. She’s so stressed she can’t get anything done because she’s wrapped up in the drama. He’s not doing anything but sitting on his butt pretending to listen and care.
Listen people, weddings don’t plan themselves. They just don’t. There are so many different balls in the air and if you don’t care then there will be big un-thoughtful gaps in your wedding. Yes, everyone will see it and no, they won’t forget it.
How can you be better?
First, get involved. Stress or no stress, lazy personality or not, you have to get involved. Hopefully, you have an awesome wedding coordinator that will pull most of the weight for you but even s/he needs guidance. You can do something. You’re good at something. Figure out what that is and get to working on it.
Secondly, get focused. Remember what you’re doing all of this for. Not for the day, the guests, the photos, the posts or the gifts. You’re doing it for the love. You want this day to be great because your love is great and you want your wedding to show just that. Forget the stress and dust it off.
Thirdly, ask for help. Clearly, this isn’t your thing and pretending that it is will bite you in the butt in the long run. Get your money together and hire a grade-A wedding coordinator. Recruit a creative friend who knows your love story best to help navigate through your wedding planning indecisiveness. Pick your zen cheerleader who will help you get out of your funk and focus on your goals.
BOOM! New Year, same you but better is now in full effect!!!! You got this! Now get to it.